When significant relationships end, they always leave a mark on us. Many transform us completely, and all teach us some important life lessons, so we can come out stronger and embrace our true paths. But sometimes getting over what can’t and shouldn’t be changed, cutting etheric cords can be a long process. We tend to get very attached to our ex-partners and find it really difficult to move on. After all, how to let go of a relationship when you still love him? No matter how much you tried, the exchange of energy between the two of you just wasn’t right.
The energetic cord or etheric cord represents the flow of energy, and energetic structure that connects our energy bodies like chakras, or aura. This very basic energy helps us connect with everything and everyone around us. If that energy within is positive, we will connect to objects and people positively, with a lot of love and respect. When we start a relationship with somebody else, we also create an energetic cord, a bond that exists between two people and is based on an exchange of energy.
In time, this bond strengthens and the energy transmissions are felt more deeply, as we are exposed to this influence for a long period of time. In other words, we became more and more attuned to their energy and as the etheric cord gets stronger the flow goes in both directions. The longer we are exposed and connected through the etheric cord with another, the harder it is to let go of it.
When connected to another, we become very receptive, and we are stimulated and impacted by their energy. Sometimes it isn’t a positive cord, but a negative one – we will still be influenced because it affects the exchange of energy between two people.
If we are deeply insecure, feel unloved or unsafe, we will extend the energetic cord to all the objects and people in our radius who can attach to such energy. So the resulting relationship may be highly unsuitable and unsatisfactory!
This is one reason why it is so hard to let go of past relationships, as these connections are not easy to break if the energy exchange was between low vibrational people. This could mean one or both partners were toxic, so the relationship created more blocks instead of clearing them. Without being aware of such cords, people who linger in our lives are still siphoning our energies.
Finding ways of how to let go of the past and move forward is not an easy task. Here are the main reasons why it is so hard to let go of past relationships and break etheric cords after a breakup.
1. We Invested So Much Time and Energy In Making It Work
Sometimes a failed relationship can feel like a failed project you invested a lot of money in. You worked so hard and in the end you were left with nothing, emotionally exhausted, as if all the effort had been worthless.
This is especially the case when the relationship required many adapting efforts on your part, so you might have ended up feeling like you aren’t good enough or like you should have tried harder, because you really felt it was worth your time.
It is completely understandable why accepting it’s over doesn’t come so easily. But relationships are not one-sided projects, and we can’t make them work on our own. The energetic cord isn’t right and we can’t fix it externally, but you gave your best, so now give yourself time to emotionally recharge and let it go. If it had really been worth it would have lasted.
2. We Are Dependent on the Other Person
It is not uncommon to quickly become dependent on our partner. They become the main source of our happiness, love and security as they give us constant confirmation that we are worthy of all the good things. Over time, we feel comfortable and safe in such an environment and start relying on our partner to provide us with what we need. Ultimately they become our ‘’supplier’’ of love. The energy cord here includes ‘’the supplier’’ and ‘’ the supplied’’, and it can go both ways. When you get so much from a relationship, how to let go of an ex you still love?
The problem with this lies in giving the other person the power over us by accepting the belief that love, validation, self-esteem, happiness or security is something that comes from the outside and the other person, instead of from within. But, this belief is contradictory, and many times the love, approval and security we seek and think we are receiving is given to us in very small doses and frequently withdrawn from us.
Since we have been hooked on such reliance on the other, instead of self-reliance, the end of a relationship can bring total havoc to our world, as we no longer have that supply of love we are used to having. This leads us to clinging to the past and searching for approval, financial security or love in the same place we once had it, but we forget all the reasons why the end of a relationship happened.
3. Letting Go and Moving On Is Hard When Our Ego Is Wounded
Many relationships don’t have pleasant endings, leaving one or both sides feeling damaged, hurt, disappointed and low. It is common for partners to feel not only the negative post-breakup emotions, but to feel as if they played a game and lost, as if they are ‘’the weak one’’, a victim, inferior, powerless, the one who came off second best.
If we feel we are the one who has been left to carry all the negative effects of a breakup while our ex partner seems happy, it is normal to feel as if we are the weak one, as our ego is hurt. But the problem of a wounded ego will keep us dwelling on the past, stuck in what has happened, instead on focusing on the present and healing. By trusting our wounded ego we delay the healing and put a hold on our happiness, as it is all about our perception of how we look in a situation, not the reality.
But the truth is, in reality there is no such thing as being second best or coming out as a winner or loser after a failed relationship. No matter what the result of a relationship is, both partners invested a certain amount of energy and time in it, so the ’’loser and winner’’ concept here doesn’t work, as this is a matter of ego and how we perceive the situation.
4. We Are Clinging to the Ideal of Love We Thought We Had
Often when we are in love, we tend to see our partner through rose-tinted glasses, attaching our ideals onto them. This way, we use love as an excuse and reject all the reasons why it didn’t work.
We can love the other person even though we are not compatible with them. We might be in a relationship with a manipulator or abuser, yet attach to or exaggerate certain qualities they haveor don’t have. Even if there was love in a relationship that is over, we can still cherish everything we have and move on with our lives, because if it was going to work, it would have. Finding ways to let someone go emotionally is not an easy task, as love is a great power, but it won’t keep two incompatible people together.
It may be that we are so accustomed to their ways of thinking and behaving that anything different seems too strange because it is unfamiliar, so we are afraid to let go, as not knowing what lies ahead scares us.
What we are actually afraid of is our own power. We have learned to give away our own power, fearing the unknown and not relying on ourselves. Chances are, we haven’t tested our power yet, because our whole life we thought we needed someone to make us happy or feel loved. By fearing the unknown and letting go of a relationship which doesn’t serve us anymore we say no to personal growth, and security is always hard to let go.
5. There Was No Closure
No matter how much time has passed after a breakup, there are many things left unsaid and our thoughts just jump from one question to another and we wonder why it all happened after all. Whether we were mercilessly cut out of our ex-partner’s lives without explanation or we were given just a piece of the why-did-the-breakup-happen puzzle, having no closure can keep us dwelling on the past for a long time.
It is ok to want to know the reasons why it didn’t work. Finding constructive ways to move on from a relationship without closure may be something we need to do in order to move forward, but over-analyzing something that can’t be changed will keep us stuck in the very same place where the other person left us. The very fact that it has ended, whether you are given explanations or not, is a type of closure itself.
Ultimately, to have a positive energetic connection based on unconditional love, we first need to establish positive energy within, because as long we don’t feel inner love, we won’t be able to make an etheric connection to another person from the place of love – where we progress instead of sabotaging it.