Many people have been affected by the twin flame phenomenon, whether they were aware of it at the time or not, so it’s likely that much of what you read here will resonate with you. The twin flame stages and the experiences twin flame lovers go through are unique and powerful. If you’ve had to struggle with making the decision of whether to pursue your twin flame relationship or not, possibly this article will persuade you that it’s better to absorb the lessons you learn from the experience, and find ways of pursuing inner strength and calm to surpass it. In fact, if you don’t take the proactive route there is always the danger of plunging into the abyss! Some twins manage to hold on to a relationship that endures – even if they are living separately they remain connected, after all that bittersweet, intense passion and trauma has subsided. Others are blessed enough to maintain a close and happy relationship, or even find each other again after a long separation. The only constant in all this is that the twin flame phenomenon will not leave you untouched!
The meeting of twin flames is a rare occurrence and carries enormous potential for personal transformation – once they meet, nothing will be the same. Once we start a relationship with our twin flame, the reunion of souls in this lifetime will initially feel like a clash, and then be followed by series of awakening moments experienced by both individuals. The powerful and binding quality of a twin flame relationship will take both souls on a journey to self-discovery accompanied by an extreme pull towards each other. When two souls, once separated, come together in this lifetime for a reunion, they will go through several stages until they finally embrace divine union.
1. Yearning for “The One”
The twin flame journey begins with longing for “the one” and it starts as soon as we incarnate. Growing up, we sense that something is missing from our lives, a piece that will make us fundamentally, unshakably happy. We are yearning for perfect love in its absolute form, to be deeply loved, understood and cared about – a person, a special someone who can make all the difference. We hope for someone with whom things will naturally fall into place, who will bring us warmth and whose love will give us great confidence in life.
In each soul, there is an inbuilt longing for the twin flame, and even though we are not aware of this, as soon as we enter the realm of love and relationships and start building what we think is the ideal of love, we will already be guided by the need to become one with our twin flame – the one and only.
Maybe we won’t be able to define what is it we are longing for – it is not something that takes a final physical form, as we are searching for an energy that just feels right, the energy that will match ours and fulfill us. We hope to meet someone who will make us feel complete and whose personality will help us feel that energy which is genuine and warm. We hope for someone who will meet our needs and give us love and understanding – who will complete us and fill the void we feel, someone who will complete our puzzle.
2. Searching for “The One’’
Once we recognise we need someone to make us feel whole, we go on a love quest in search of the perfect partner. The meeting of twin flames does not come without soul preparation, as to meet our flame we must be ready for the transformation they will bring us, and that is why we wander from relationship to relationship, searching for “the one’’. We feel they are out there, and we are pulled into relationships in the hope that we will find what we are looking for.
Before we meet our twin, we will go through a series of changes, ups and downs in life and it is exactly these experiences that will lead us to meeting our twin soul. This is a process both twin flames experience, each on their own.
This is the preparation phase and it is at its peak when we feel completely empty and cornered, like a part of ourselves is missing and we can’t seem to find it. This is a necessary path that both must take, as all the challenges they face before the meeting will eventually bring them together.
3. Dark Night of the Soul
Faced with hardships and failed attempts to find “the one’’ during previous twin flame stages we start losing hope, questioning not only ourselves, but love itself. The duress of karmic love or bad relationships with people who weren’t compatible with us leave us feeling lost and tired of all attempts to “make it work”. When we are at our lowest, disappointed in love, blaming ourselves, confused and hopeless, we start to experience the dark night of the soul. This is when we give up on love, unhappy with ourselves and our lives, feeling unable to make positive changes or move on from past hurts.
The Dark Night of the Soul feels like a part of you is dying and you feel so helpless because there is nothing you can do, which is why this period is frequently followed by depression and grief. No matter if it’s a relationship you cared so much about or your ideals and hopes that are fading away, you will be overwhelmed with the feeling of loss and it is not an easy path to take.
It is not uncommon to see two twins meet right after experiencing karmic love, as hopelessness followed by complete loss of faith in love is necessary – it is the first step of breaking chains with the past, preparing them for transformation in the future. We go through The Dark Night of the Soul phase because we must, it is the quiet before the storm. This is a necessary step, as it prepares us for the storm that will change us – the awakening.
4. The Shift in Consciousness: Preparation for Ascension
The meeting of twin flames highlights an intense connection between two souls, but to establish such a deep connection, and faced with The Dark Night of the Soul, heartbreak and disappointment, twins must first make a shift in consciousness. Souls begin to see and understand things in a way they have never experienced and when this shift occurs, ascension begins. The awakening is an energetic process on the twin flame path, where we experience a sort of rebirth – we reconnect with our higher self, true self and start breaking through barriers we have held in the past, seeing the world with different eyes. This is the very beginning of the transformation we are yet to undergo when we meet our twin soul, but in order to meet them, we must perform our spiritual homework. This awakening, illumination and shift in perspective are clear signs a twin flame reunion is near.
In this phase we are about to get to know the higher dimension of ourselves.
This is the process of “purification”, cleansing, it is the wake-up phase that shakes us up from the stagnation of the previous phase. We are tuning in for the real show – the meeting of our twin flame, “the one”.
5. Recognition: The Meeting of Twin Flames – Twin Flame Awakening
Once the twin flame crosses our path we will have an immediate connection – we will know they are “the one’’. They will cross our path exactly when we are ready for personal transformation and the life-changing lessons only a twin flame reunion can bring. We will instinctively know this is someone who will play an important role in our lives and recognising twin flame will feel like we have found that missing part. There will be an instant feeling of recognition on both sides. Something about the other person will seem so “right’’. No matter how they look or behave (and they will be our opposite in many ways), we will recognise them among many other people we interact with. This is the recognition phase, and we will feel the presence and the energy of the other flame to the core of our being.
Although the recognition is instant and goes both ways, the twin flame awakening does not affect both individuals the same way, and there is always one twin that goes through the process of awakening first, while the other is yet to experience it. This is why the recognition phase will be different for each of them.
The awakened twin is usually more spiritual, more conscious, more aware of the potential the relationship with the other twin might bring. They are the one to see things more clearly and are guided by their instincts and the heart, while the other is usually unaware of the power the meeting of twins has and is guided by reason. One awakens before the other because it is a part of the Divine plan both souls agree on before incarnating on Earth, it is part of their soul contract. The unawakened one is also spiritual, but might be unaware of their own spirituality, and it is usually the other twin flame being essentially who they are, who will help them reconnect with the spiritual side.
6. Falling Deeply In Love
Once we go past the recognition phase, things start moving unnaturally quickly, at a pace we have probably never experienced with another soul before. We will be extremely drawn to get to know our twin flame and will feel unexplainable attraction to them and everything they are. This pull is powerful and binding and we feel an intense connection to the other, forming a relationship unusually quickly. It is in this phase that twin flame love signs become most apparent, when strong passions and inexplicable attraction take place, and this happens because both feel they must be with each other. This is the ‘’honeymoon’’ phase, or the phase of falling deeply in love.
What makes twin flame relationships so different from others is how we interact with the other, almost subconsciously, at high speed.
The very quality of this reunion is deeply instinctive, having a rather dreamy and idealistic character, and twin flames react to each other from the soul, reather from the rational self. They are led by passion and love which will bring out powerful emotional responses in both partners, and they will feel they have found the perfect partner. They will feel like a yin to their yang.
7. Mirroring: Ascension Begins
Every interaction between twin flames is followed by intensity and extreme emotion. This happens because the more we get to understand and fall for our twin flame, the more we are exposed to hidden parts of ourselves and we see this in the other twin. However, we will not accept and might even fiercely fight against that same behaviour they exhibit, not admitting it is part of our hidden selves.
In the mirroring phase, twin flames begin to see the ‘other’’ side of their partner, the less pretty, less dreamy and less acceptable side, and it is in this phase where perfect love shows its dark side. This is not a pleasant journey and is always accompanied by simultaneous intense attraction and repulsion. These parts of our being, that we try so desperately to hide and reject, will be mirrored through the other.
As a result we get very reactive and overwhelmed. This is the stage of a twin flame journey where we start recognising what we don’t yet know some parts of ourselves. Thinking it’s the other person who ‘’is wrong’’ or needs to change, we are in a state of ambivalence and sometimes denial, torn between extreme attraction to the other and rejection of who they are. We are full of fear, because we are faced with the same behaviour we won’t accept exists in ourselves.
8. Runner and Chaser Phase
Faced with our shadow selves and the intensity of the twin flame relationship, we are urged to run away from these powerful emotions and in this phase we are faced with extreme duality. On one side we have huge potential for personal growth and a relationship that can play a major role in our lives, and on the other, our past selves and everything that kept us safe in our comfort zone, unexposed to change.
Faced with such rapid changes, one of the partners feels the urge to run from the other twin flame, trying to escape the roller coaster ride, while the other one chases. In all twin flame stages runner is usually the one who is less open to change and less willing to transform, because they are not accustomed to such intensity and are more afraid of powerful emotions and the possible outcome. They might feel they are “losing themselves’’ or “losing their mind’’, not realising they are experiencing a breakthrough from limiting patterns, thoughts and behaviours, and they are actually running away from themselves.
When one partner runs from the relationship, the other chases, and while ‘’the chaser’’ is usually more introspective and more open to personal transformation and growth, by making the chase, they also reject personal growth, as they are giving all the transformational power to the relationship and the other twin, instead of making inner changes. The runner and chaser dynamic can last for months or years, depending on how both twin flames experience it and how ready each of them is for transformation. The runner and chaser dynamic plays between the divine masculine, the rational, the runner, and the divine feminine guided by instincts of female energy, who is the chaser. While it is common for the man to be the runner, the divine masculine, or the twin flame with predominantly male energy, does not have to be a man.
9. Separation Phase
Deeply entwined with the runner and chaser phase is a separation phase. Once the runner and the chaser dynamic starts, the flames go through a period of separation, which presents them with certain challenges, but also gifts. It is this period of separation that will determine how long the periods of running and chasing will be and how each twin will use the potential of a twin flame love they have been given. While both partners will go through this phase, how they experience it differs. It is often the “chaser” who is more awakened, which is why they experience great anguish and distress during this phase, while the “runner” might be oblivious to the concept of twin flames, as they are the ones who are not awakened and would rather run than face themselves. It is not uncommon for the “runner” to find karmic partners during the separation phase, only in order to get back on track and receive a “wake-up call” which will lead them to awakening if they accept it as such.
The separation phase can be a period of turmoil, but can also be proactive, and if that is the case, this period is anything but stagnant – during separation twin flames can go through a process of deep healing, and its enormous potential for growth shouldn’t be taken lightly. It offers twin flames a chance to raise their vibrations to higher levels. This will bring them a better alignment with themselves but also with each other, and as a result, bring them closer together. This period is a chance for each of them to reflect and focus on their own growth, as it will lead them not only to personal transformation and healing of the self, but will make a reunion easier. It is this period when chasers need to stop and pay attention to their own feelings, fear and wounds, and runners need to find what is it they are running away from, and while this is the link they both need in order to become one, it usually takes many separations, “running” and “chasing” to achieve this.
After the separation phase is over, they will be more open to changes the other flame brings. By using this time wisely and focusing on the self, periods of separations become shorter and take less of a toll on each individual.
When not used wisely, if impatience, ego, pride or lack of understanding prevails, instead of being a gift, the period of separation can delay the reunion even more, or even separate the flames completely, as they will miss a chance for a complete reunion in this lifetime.
10. Breakthrough: Vibrational Alignment
While the runner and the chaser dynamic can last, there will be a point where both sides will eventually surrender to each other and stop running away from themselves and each other. While some manage to stay at the previous stage and never experience the full potential of a twin flame reunion, there are many twin flame couples who have eventually raised their vibration and these are the ones that are ready to grow – this is the twin flame illumination stage.
This is the phase of the embrace, when twin flame souls are embracing everything the other mirrors and finally opening the deepest wounds they were so afraid to open in previous stages of a twin flame journey. The very process of reaching this phase means they are ready to let go of ego ruled behavior, and ready to deal with personal limitations, so they can liberate the self and start accepting not only the other person, but themselves too.
It is not uncommon for partners to swing back and forth and regress to the previous phase, going back to the runner and chaser dynamic, just so they can come back and engage in a relationship with a twin flame again when ready. This happens so they can embrace different parts of themselves and deal with deeper issues that urged them to run away again in the first place.
11. Twin Flame Union
The final stage of a twin flame journey is when both twin flames have awakened and transcended all the obstacles of the previous stages and when each of them is ready to become whole and embrace every aspect of themself and of the other. When souls are ready to completely surrender to the union after past stages, they are giving up ego-ruled behavior, selfishness, limiting patterns and both confident and grounded with their sense of self.
If twin flames end up together, becoming one is not primarily about two souls completing each other, but each of them becoming whole as individuals, and creating a healthy, love-based entity – a relationship that serves both individuals equally. This kind of relationship is balanced and encourages both people to be who they truly are, recognising and accepting their differences and the very essence of two personalities as something complementary. It is in this final stage when the twin flame stages surrender to one another finally happens. They are now both spiritually awake and aware of the self and the other, creating a harmonious relationship based on intimacy and selfless love, support and encouragement. They become one.