People we encounter and form close relationships with carry a certain energy we pick up on, consciously or unconsciously. This two-way connection can be very positive if it’s based on genuine love and affection for each other. It can lift our spirits up, helping us become better, more confident versions of ourselves. However, not all connections we form are positive, and not all are good for us, no matter how close to our hearts the other person is. Certain relationships leave us feeling drained, emotionally weak, numb and lethargic. If that’s the case, it might be that we are overlooking what are clear signs of emotional vampires.
Emotional vampires are people who drain our emotional bodies – they are always focused on themselves, monopolising our time, making their needs the focus of the relationship, while your emotions, needs and thoughts become irrelevant and invalid. The more you get to know a person, the more their negativity impacts your life and drains you of your energy. This happens because we are all connected through etheric cords, both mentally and emotionally, and these energetic structures act as a bridge between two people, connecting their energies. Such a link always goes both ways, but when one starts ‘’feeding off’’ the energy of the other, bringing imbalance into the relationship, making themselves the top priority, they become the “vampire”.
We may deal with emotional vampires at work, at home or in our closest social group, and with some we form romantic relationships. Although cutting cords with coworkers or friends can be tricky enough, when it’s a matter of love, breaking away from toxicity can be extremely difficult, because of our intense feelings for the other person as we struggle to stay strong and keep the relationship going, even though we know such love is doing us no good.
It is easy to confuse an Emotional Vampire scenario with a Twin Flame one. After all, Twin Flames are deeply transforming connections, and intense emotions are a feature of Twin Flame Ascension/Mirroring, as is the instability that characterises the Runner/Chaser stages. It’s not uncommon for someone to mistake a self-destructive Emotional Vampire for their genuine Twin Flame, not realising it’s really a matter of manipulative energetic cords at play here, siphoning off their energy, influencing their behaviour in malevolent ways and in fact essentially taking over their lives.
For better understanding, here are four ways you can discern whether you are dealing with an emotional vampire, or are, in fact, in a twin flame relationship.
1. Twin Flames Make Us Face Our Own Demons; Emotional Vampires Are Energetic “Demons”
As harsh as this analogy may sound, emotional vampires show up in our life only to take away our self-esteem, positivity, energy, joy and hope, bringing us darkness that is not ours to bear. They overshadow us with a dark cloud that has nothing to do with our soul purpose, but is their way of exploiting us for what they lack – our positivity, our attention and time, all in order to feel good about themselves. These emotional vampires/narcissists do not feel guilt when they rob us of valuable resources we so desperately need to stay functional and happy. Above all, they are violating us, as they believe our resources are rightfully theirs.
Although we do go through tremendously painful and dark periods in a Twin Flame relationship, especially during the runner and chaser phases, in this case, the demons we face are our own. They emerge from our shadow, and the relationship forces us to face everything we have been running away from. While we might lose all our resources and positive outlook in the process, there will always be a part of us telling us that this is all part of our journey – our subconscious will know the difference. This type of darkness will be our own and we will know it. A Twin Flame will trigger this situation, but what is triggered will already be part of us, and this will bring us growth and positive transformation.
2. Twin Flames Both Experience the Highs and the Lows, While in a Relationship With an Emotional Vampire Only One Person Has the Right to Feel Good
This one person is always the emotional vampire and the relationship with them, especially a romantic one, will always revolve around them and this is the top behavior on the emotional vampire’s checklist. They feel (and will make you feel too) like you owe them – your time, advice, attention, love and anything else you would give freely to a partner you love, only to learn that you and what you give is never enough. The only person who will become energised is them, and only they will get a boost in their self-confidence and you will be the one feeling constantly low. This is not about you not being loveable, but about them not being able to love themselves and therefore not being able to love their partner – you.
In a Twin Flame relationship, the ups and downs are a natural part of a union, and both partners will experience both extremes. They will go through periods of great confidence, strength and hope, but will also hit rock bottom at times. Before and during runner and chaser and separation phases, twin souls, each at their own pace, will experience loss of personal integrity, happiness and trust in themselves, only to come back stronger and more aware of not only their needs, but the needs of the other too.
3. Twin Flames Are in Sync with You Till the End, Emotional Vampires Only in the Beginning
An emotional vampire is skilled at mirroring other people in order to get close to them, and when you first meet a narcissist you won’t be able to see their manipulative, draining, self-absorbed side. On the contrary, in the first stages of a relationship with them, you will be showered with affection and adoration. You will be idealized, only to learn that it was all just a way to get you hooked. Everything is about control and power, and nothing is about you. This is engraved in the emotional vampire’s psychology. The image they initially present is false, and once the mask falls, your higher self will try to warn you by reacting negatively to this new narcissistic behaviour, by reacting with feelings of sadness or hopelessness. The higher self knows what is right for you, and that is certainly not a relationship with an emotional vampire.
In a Twin Flame relationship, mirroring is true, honest and constant.
Twin flame is our other half and they mirror our emotional, mental and spiritual state – they are the representatives of our subconscious, the shadow selves we need to explore and ultimately accept as an integral part of ourselves. The whole relationship is based on reflecting who we truly, deeply are. Ego games are always involved in Twin Flame dynamics, but unlike a narcissist, a twin flame will never purposely hurt you or create chaos only to harm you – what they create hurts you both, as you are two parts of one piece, so even if they try to harm you it will bounce back, teaching you both valuable lessons and bringing back equilibrium and a better mutual understanding.
4. The Twin Flame Will Open Your Eyes; the Emotional Vampire Will Gaslight You
Gaslighting is a manipulation technique emotional vampires use to make others question their reality and even sanity. It is their way of staying in power over you, as they are dependent on your resources and your life energy. Gaslighting is about lies, twisting reality so it accommodates the needs of the “vampire”. Since they feed off with your energy and emotions, they will need a constant supply of your attention, even if that means turning you against yourself.
The term gaslighting is frequently used when talking about emotional vampires because it is this technique that damages us the most – emotional vampires lack empathy and will taunt you so they can feel good.
As a result, your version of the world will be distorted, your reality befogged and your mind confused and dizzy. You will go through changes, but these changes are deeply harmful.
Twin Flame relationships are also powerful and painful, but always transform us for the better, while emotional vampires cause damage to our mind, body and soul, and sometimes recovering from these scars takes a lot of time. The connection with our Twin Flame is the most powerful, but also the most beautiful experience we can have. The changes we go through are meant to take us on the right path, teach us important life lessons, help us evolve, grow, heal and become our unique selves.
A relationship with an emotional vampire is about rejecting our true selves, but the pain and hurt we experience in a twin flame relationship is about bringing us the death of our ego, so we can be reborn, experience unconditional love and fall in love with our true selves without rejecting any part of who we truly are.
Can Your Twin Flame Be an Emotional Vampire?
Unfortunately, yes. Just because they are our twin soul doesn’t mean they will bring us positive changes. When the other twin flame is not in tune with their spiritual side they are closed to all the possibilities a reunion might bring them, refusing to face their demons, hurting you as a result. A Twin Flame is human like any other and while they do carry the one of a kind potential for transformation, if they are not ready for a reunion in this lifetime they will do anything to protect their ego from getting wounded and keep their deepest fears hidden even at your expense.
Many times in Twin Flame connections, one soul is spiritually awoken while the other is oblivious to messages their subconscious sends them. Twin flame reunion is supposed to bring the death of your and your partner’s ego so you can move beyond established patterns and blockages, and live in tune with your higher self. That is just the potential, but it is not always the reality, and if we constantly feel down, numb, drained, tired of trying, seeing no personal improvement and losing sense of self to accommodate the other, it is a clear sign our Twin Flame is an emotional vampire.
How Can You Protect Yourself from Emotional Vampires?
It takes a lot of courage and strength to stand up to an emotional vampire and say no to their demands. This is especially difficult if we are already caught up in the whirlpool of gaslighting and even harder if we are in love with the person who is manipulating and draining us.
In order to protect ourselves from such people whose presence damages us, we must practise being affectionately detached without feeling guilty or ashamed for not fulfilling their wishes and responding to their demands.
We must learn it is not our duty to keep anyone happy, especially if we, in return, get our own joy taken away.
Being emotionally detached means building a barrier between our own feelings and the feelings of others. We must learn to discern which emotions are ours, and which are the result of emotional manipulation. By learning to say no to something that constantly drains us, we attract more positive forces in our lives. Time must be perceived like money in our emotional vampire’s book, it is valuable and if we give it to someone, it is more than ok to expect to get the same amount of dedication back. Our energy gets easily attached to the energy of the other, no matter if it’s positive or negative, but it is we who choose to cut those attachments that no longer serve our highest good.