Nothing shows dignity, maturity and strength more than applying the no contact rule after a breakup. It’s a healing technique as well as an effective strategy to deal with the whole breakup situation.
A lot is likely to go on, teeming around in your mind, during the no contact rule period, and it surely will hurt even more if the relationship was a good one, but there is no justification for responding with immature, inappropriate or irrational behaviour that only demonstrates that it’s, in fact, better that your relationship ended.
So why is the no contact rule so effective and how do you deal with this pain?
Being able to release negative ties with your ex both physically and energetically is vital for you to be able to find the space you need to begin to heal and stop feeling overwhelmed.
This is a difficult step – not made any easier by the effortless ways we can now ‘check up’ on our exes via social media. In fact, a huge 70% of people say they indulge in this activity regularly (and those are only the ones who admit to it!). You might be checking up on your ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or other sites for a variety of reasons – but none of them are going to be positive for you right now.
No Contact – The ‘Remove and Replace’ Method
This dark side to social media becomes particularly apparent when you are going through a breakup. In the past, it was quite hard to keep tabs on an ex unless you physically went to where they worked/lived/hung out, or you contacted them directly with a phone call or letter. These days though, they can be available to you with just one simple click, and this can make it incredibly tempting to ‘check up’ on your ex, making the no contact rule period even harder, You can also do this anonymously, so that they don’t know (on the surface) that you have been in ‘indirect contact.’ And, as you now know, indirect contact is a way of strengthening the energetic cords that tie you to your ex.
To make matters worse, it’s almost impossible to truly tell how someone is feeling via social media. Even if your ex seems happy in the pictures you see, you only have a tiny slice of the real picture. Equally, if your ex is the type to post passive-aggressive memes or ‘likes’ to try and call you out this doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t hurting or don’t miss you. In both cases seeing what your ex chooses to portray on social media (and remember it is a portrayal, not their actual life!) will not help you to move forward or to lessen the painful cords that are still binding you together. Neither will it boost your no contact rule success rate! And this is not good when you’re trying to heal.
Remember! Social media stalking is a form of obsessing about your ex. Ruminating keeps you on the breakup hamster wheel and traps you in a downward spiral. The more you check, the worse you feel, and then you want to check again! If you’ve been blocked by an ex that’s actually very positive. Whatever their intention in blocking you, they have done you a favour as it will help you with no contact. Also, it’s good to answer this question here, does the no contact rule work on men? Yes it does, and this is why you may be blocked, he’s probably trying the no contact rule to get you back!
As we’ve discussed, a breakup is very similar to bereavement and it’s tempting to try and fill the gap your ex has left in the form of indirect contact. This is where you need to take firm action to begin to detox from your ex via going PROPERLY no contact – both via direct contact in terms of visits, phone calls, texts and emails and indirect in the form of checking up on them on social media or asking about them, etc.
Keep your healing intention in mind and whenever you’re tempted to look at their social media remind yourself that the more you try to tap into their emotional state, the more you compound your grief by strengthening those energetic ties.
Try to keep this great quote by Steve Furtick in mind when it comes to the image others portray on social media:
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
A private session with Graham would also be very helpful if you are battling with NO CONTACT, which can be incredibly demanding on you, so much so that it can feel as extreme as going cold turkey to overcome an addiction to drugs, and consequently suffering acute withdrawal symptoms. In this case, the frequencies themselves might not initially break down your wall of pain to mobilise your recovery. You might well be in such a heightened state of emotional distress that what you really need is something stronger, i.e. a big jolt to the system for immediate relief. You would then be advised to first invest in a 30-minute session with Graham (a 15-minute consultation and a 15-minute healing session) where he will use his gifts to act as a jump start to shift things so that the frequencies will be at their most effective and powerful. Then the frequencies can be purchased for only $9 each, and after the private session, they will be absorbed much more effectively.
These private sessions are incredibly powerful and will result in quantum leaps in your healing, personal development and vibrational upgrades – this will result in the easier and faster manifestation of romantic relationships that actually work, not to mention wealth and abundance in your career, plus many more positive outcomes.
This guided meditation is one of the most fundamental to your healing process – it will help you to ground, balance and cleanse. Grounding is incredibly important as it helps to connect you back to yourself, realign your energy body and access the healing power of the Earth.
Reaching a state of Trinity is where your mind, body and soul are balanced, allowing your innate sense of inner calm to return to the surface. Tune in and listen to this powerful holistic frequency before you go to sleep every night, as it will align your mind, body and energetic body, helping you to become balanced.
Do you keep waking up tired, no matter how many hours of sleep you have had? This frequency will help you reconnect with your internal clock, and return to your natural sleep-cycle rhythm, improving your overall health. Set this frequency to play 10 minutes before your alarm is due to go off, so that you wake up feeling as if you have enjoyed a deeply restful sleep. Once you have adjusted to this frequency, if you want to continue to start the day with it, you can set it as your alarm sound. This allows you to wake up every day feeling properly rested, rejuvenated and full of energy, and ready for the positive activities that support your healing.
The Heartbreak frequency is our namesake holistic healing frequency that will help you face your feelings of pain and hurt so that you can properly process your current situation. It will enable you to gain a level head to decide what your next course of action should be, and relieve you from anything clouding your judgment, while giving you precious peace of mind.
This is the one frequency that will assist you with every dimension of your HT healing journey, and help you deal with the feelings of pain and hurt you are currently experiencing because of trouble with love, relationships, career or any other important part of your life. This specialised heartbreak frequency is an effective form of sound medicine that offers fast-acting relief and frees you from the weight of burdensome emotions caused by heartbreak.
This is very powerful, so it is strongly recommended you first listen to the Grounding Guided Meditation and Alleviate Stress & Anxiety or Freedom From Fears & Overthinking (or all three if you are having a more difficult time than usual) in order to prepare yourself for this transformative experience.
Insomnia frequently goes hand in hand with loss or grief or just sadness, and you might end up sleep deprived when you need to rest the most. Lack of energy can affect both your emotional and physical well-being and many people who are going through hardships such as breakups, family issues, job loss, failing a test or general uncertainty know this very well. This audio can help you relax and take your mind off emotions and events at night, so you can drift off into a proper sleep.
You can experience hurt, sadness or heartbreak caused by career challenges, by love, or relationships and they can impact all aspects of life, leaving you increasingly anxious and stressed. The soothing effect of this frequency helps you find a greater sense of calm and peace, and escape from your elevated levels of stress and anxiety so that you gain the strength to make practical changes in your life.
Sometimes you can find yourself in a rut, stuck and unable to move forward. Feeling like this is more common than you think… The fear of change, the unknown, or trepidation about the way you are currently feeling can prevent you from moving forward. If this is how you feel, listen to this frequency to put the monkey mind to rest and liberate yourself from fear.